It must be Monday

As I came into work this morning I wondered why it was so quiet and everyone looked so subdued. As I walked into the office I remember thinking “maybe there’s been another terrorist attack and I don’t know yet”. Get in, turn on my mail and find an e-mail from a friend in the UK going “are you OK?”. Ho hum. ‘Luckily’ it appears to have been an accident. For a while though everyone in the office was stopping shock still and staring out of the window whenever we heard anything that sounded like a plane engine.

On a more happy, random note – went for dinner in Il Buco the other night and sat across from Matt Damon. Not as good as Matt Affleck but you can’t complain.

It’s fluffy and white

And it was falling from the sky in Times Square today. No, it wasn’t snow (although it was so cold it could have been) – it looked a lot like fluffy white dandelion seeds. Ah, bless. Of course with my current levels of paranoia running at 500% (+/- 2%) it could have been carrying anything – from anthrax to small nuclear bombs. Still, it was pretty.

Unlike this screenshot I took from my browser just now. It was bad enough to see the picture of that poor woman looking more like a skeleton than I’ve ever seen, but the eDiets advert at the top made me double take (I added the figures myself). Thanks to Meta-Filter for the link.

Choices

Last night I sat in bed for a while wondering exactly what time to set my alarm for. The reason behind this indecision? Well, depending on when I get up affects what time I get on the subway. What time I get on the subway affects what time I hit town. So then what time do I think would be safest to be in midtown in Manhattan? Is it likely to be attacked early morning again? Or in the evening? Maybe we’ve already been attacked by an invisible cloud of anthrax spores? Who fucking knows? Would the government tell us if they knew it had happened, or would they keep it quiet to prepare for the panic they know will come?

Everyone is being affected by this high grade paranoia to one level or another. In some ways it’s interesting to see how people react to it, moving towards behaviors they consider ‘safe’ to try and keep calm. As for me I’m trying to do more coding, something I’ve realised is one of my ‘flow’ activities (I immerse myself in it and am rarely distracted). In reality though, what can you do about it? Nothing. I could move somewhere else, but most places I’d want to move are probably still targets and also likely less prepared than New York is. So I’m just going to sit here and enjoy my headache – which I don’t think is a symptom of anything other than stress.. is it?

Meanwhile it’s nice to see that the high quality of US air terminal checkpoints is being maintained. “Federal Aviation Administration spokesman Jim Peters said FAA agents monitoring a checkpoint saw screeners allowing passengers to continue through after security alarms went off.” (from Yahoo). Jesus wept. I wrote about this a while ago, when on a trip to Newark I walked through but they didn’t check my wallet for anything such as knives. There really are some morons out there who have no understanding of how important their job is.

Time heals

Just got an e-mail of the “a friend of my cousin’s friend said..” variety, saying that we shouldn’t travel on trains today, or some day. Ah, more paranoia. So I went onto MSNBC to check out what the ‘official’ line was, presently it’s still just a ‘high alert’ situation and they’ve detained some people in and around planes – one of which was some muppet-stupid Arab who was a) on an expired student visa and b) happened to be carrying around an art knife in his pencil case which he’d “forgotten about”. Y’know he probably is completely innocent, there are a lot of people in this country on expired student visas – but even so he should be locked up just for being stupid. How can you “forget” you’re carrying a knife in the present climate??? I’m sorry, just doesn’t wash with me.

Being on MSNBC I went to check out their Week in Photo section, which normally has some amazing images. This week nothing seemed to inspire me, so I decided to check out the images from September 11th. Bad mistake. I looked at about four before tears were starting to well in my eyes again. It seems that the emotional wounds are still very open there. It has only been one and a half months. It’s like a different age though.

As an aside currently reading Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. It’s a very interesting book, and not as “self-help” as somebody said it would be. Lots of fascinating examples of how different societies enjoy themselves and the similarities between them. Also has lots of references to the religious beliefs that can drive people to kill themselves in service of “their god”, so very relevant at the moment.

Ready, aim, post mail…

Apparently this week we’re all terrorist target #1 (again). So what’s the guess? Sarin gas attack on the subway (I was attacked by a stink bomb late last week and that freaked me out)? Plane into building (I’m now around most of the remaining tall buildings in NYC, but it’s so last month)? Anthrax in my e-mail (that would definitely get me)? Poison in the water (I only generally drink G&T but it could get in the ice)? Wiring N-sync to blow whenever they do a corny dance move (now that is terror)?

In amongst all of this madness I’ve found increasing solace in the calming words of my cab drivers as they ferry me back to Williamsburg. Last night’s philosopher was from French speaking Ghana. Some guy cut him up and I commented “Ils sont foux” and from then on we didn’t stop chatting. Turns out he used to teach Physics back in Ghana but earns more in New York driving cabs. We discoursed on whether French or German were better languages, during which time I find out his elder sister lives in Hamburg and his younger sister in Toulouse. He heartily recommended that I go visit Africa, where, as he put it, the people are so friendly they will take you up a mountain if you ask. Something to combat the general psychic malaise that can prevail in New York. Nice guy.

Mmm… stabby

I’m now suffering from increasingly nagging stabbing pains in my stomachal area. No, it’s not the encroaching ravages of anthrax, but self-inflicted wounds caused by an attempt at self-improvement. Yes, sit-ups. Not just ordinary sit-ups mind you, but Mens Health (TM) recommended ones, guaranteed* to get you “rock hard abs” within three weeks. The kind of abs that mean you no longer need to fritter away money on cheese graters. The kind of abs that help remove 50% more stains from your clothes wash. the kind of abs I definately don’t have.

So, only three weeks (less one day) to go on this course of self-flagellation and I’ll be there. Wherever ‘there’ is I have yet to find out. I would do a “before/after” set of photos but I fear the distress I might cause my readership, if not just from the “before” photo, but also from the “after” as their hopes and belief in Mens Health are crushed forever, and they turn to McDonalds for solace. Mmm… McDonalds.

*Guarantee void where used on stomach related improvement

A brief note on paranoia

As an aside – I’m finding all this anthrax business mildly stressful. It constantly sits in the back of your mind, reminding you that the city is now more than ever a terrorist target. Stupid things like going to pick up some litter off the ground becomes a large decision – where did it come from? Could it have been near a post office which is infected? Personally I believe that the attacks come from America rather than abroad but that’s just my feeling on the matter. On the way back from work last night someone threw a stink bomb into the subway carriage I was on. As I left the carriage to head out onto the street it just made me think how easily that could have been something like sarin gas or some biological entity. You can’t do anything about it though – the only option is to cower in terror somewhere and never leave the house, whch isn’t really an option and could be just as risky. Life is there to be lived and we’ve all got to go sometime (ideally later rather than sooner of course).

Take care, be safe.

Brit-food

As I wait for my mum to arrive (having just landed at Newark) I contemplate the shared arrival of fresh supplies of British snack food. I just made a leek pie following a Floyd (British TV chef) recipe that relies on having the best tasting butter, not the weird foamy/waxy yellow substance that claims to be butter in American supermarkets. Consequently it tasted a bit weird, to say the least. It’s things like this that can really get to me sometimes – why is it so different? How much variation can you put into making butter? I suspect the American substance has never even been near a cow, let alone anything as wonderfully unhealthy as cream. Although I am sure that whatever faux-cream substitute has been used is infinitely worse for you than simple cream.

Even with the crappy butter I had a lot of fun cooking, though I seriously need to practice at making pastry before my next attempts! Plus I need to get hold of some scales so I don’t make approximations that are so far off. Working from a non-beginner’s cookbook was also interesting. Sizes were not fully specified and entire steps were left out. Instructions like “make the pastry” don’t really help when you’ve no clue where to start. This is in stark contrast to most books on computer languages which seem to always start with an explanation of the most extreme basics – the cooking equivalent of “carefully open the salt container, measure out 0.5 cubic centimetres of salt and sprinkle evenly over the surface” rather than “add a pinch of salt”.

Last night I ended a week of not drinking with a few glasses of wine and a superb blue sky martini in Marions on Bowery. The drinks there are amazing and very cheap ($6) but the food doesn’t live up to the same standard unfortunately. Having written my last plea for a loss in weight I seem to be fully ignoring it and going full steam ahead to bloat-dom. Sigh. Why are New York restaurants so nice??

The long weight is over

I just found an old spreadsheet I was recording my weight on back in April 1999… I weighed 185 lbs… Now I weigh 205 lbs… that’s very depressing!!!

Damn you tasty cheddar sandwiches! Damn you delectable sushi!! Damn you all cheap and affordable new york cuisine!!!! And a special damning for all you lunch buffet bars out there… see you in hell!